Well, there's The Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Arctic and Southern.
Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Arctic and Southern.

Let's start with The Pacific, because it is the big one.
It's about as big as all the land on Earth combined.  All of it!
Half of the water in the world is out in The Pacific.  Half of all the water!
Let me bore you with a few numbers here:
Pacific Ocean is over 60,000,000 square miles.
It's full of sand and mud and snails and whales and plastic bottles.

The Mariana Trench, south of Japan, is almost seven miles deep.
It's where Godzilla and the Kaiju probably came from.
There are billions of beautiful creatures living their lives,
despite the best efforts of humans and volcanoes and Lord knows what else.

Well, there's The Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Arctic and Southern.

Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Arctic and Southern.

The Atlantic Ocean is the second biggest.
It's really salty, there are hurricanes in the north,
it's where Columbus and the Mayflower sailed,
and there's the Bermuda Triangle.  Where all kinds of airplanes just...disappeared.

Next is the Indian Ocean.
There are a lot of oil tankers and oil rigs in the Indian Ocean.
It's the calmest ocean, so it's great for sailing,
but there are a couple months out of the year where there are crazy monsoons.
Also, in the last decade, there's been a nice upsurge in pirate activity.

The Arctic Ocean is small and it's mostly normally frozen,
but in the summer, currently, at least, half of it melts.

The Southern Ocean isn't recognized by all.
It's at the bottom of the world, it's very cold, it is not small.
That's the end of our tour of the oceans today.
I am far too scared to stay.

Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Indian Ocean, Arctic and Southern.

(repeat)